


Coin Toss

by NoxiousToxins



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Chronically uncomfotable Keith, Sass Master Pidge, This is ADULT, and i will be treating it as such, tags will be added as chapters are added, that is my vague warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2019-08-03 21:26:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16333706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoxiousToxins/pseuds/NoxiousToxins
Summary: Keith has had a hard life. University isn't what he wanted and he doesn't know where his life is going. He has it managed for now, with a routine and everything. But suddenly, he has more than one friend, and that's more than he has been trained to manage. Not only that, but it seems his past is catching up with him.





	1. A penny for your thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, this is rated Mature for a reason. PLEASE be aware of that.  
> I will try to warn you guys about things ahead of time but there will be things i miss cause human nature ya know?  
> So! just tread carefully.

Keith was never sociable. He never had many friends, or at least never had the chance. He was quiet and kept to himself. His first real friend came in the form of a young girl who was also not good with people. She was two years younger, but exceedingly smart, and could run laps around Keith intellectually. He met her when his brother, Takashi Shirogane, had been approached by another student while they were in school. The teenager said that his family was working on a prototype of a new prosthetic and felt that Shiro was the candidate they had been looking for. He said his name was Matt Holt, he was the son of an engineer, and loved technology. Matt’s pitch was too good to pass up for a teenager who had barely anything. As time passed, scheduled meetings to update and repair the prosthetic became friendly visits. Since Shiro was Keith’s only family, he was often forced to come along. Though, he soon figured out how to use their TV, and would often slink into the basement to be alone and watch bad TV shows, it passed the time well enough. Until one night when the youngest Holt came downstairs and found Keith, squished into the side of the couch, covered in a blanket, with his knees to his chest and the hood of his baggy sweater pulled around his head. 

The girl paused a moment and looked at the TV before quickly sitting down. “I didn’t miss anything, did I?” 

Keith looked at her and quietly replied “No.” She nodded and sat back into the side of the couch.

Half way through the episode he looked over to her, she seemed cold but hadn’t complained. Though, that was probably because Keith had the only blanket on the couch. For a moment, he just looked at her, before adjusting the blanket and offering it to her silently. She looked at him skeptically before slowly moving over a cushion and taking the already warm blanket. She mumbled a thank you but stayed quiet the rest of the evening. 

The next week Shiro had to go to the Holt house for a routine check up, at least that’s what he called it, and as Shiro’s arm got taken apart, Keith stole away to the basement, where he found the youngest Holt sitting on the couch, blanket out, popcorn on the coffee table, and show paused. Keith stopped at the bottom of the stairs and gave the girl a confused glance. 

She looked up at him and spoke, “I heard you were coming tonight. No one else likes to watch with me, they all think its weird.” She unfolded the blanket and brought her knees to her chest. “I made popcorn too. I get hungry when I think. People think that’s weird too.” She looked at him expectantly, and watched as he walked to the couch. Keith sat down beside her, and took the blanket he offered her. “My name is Katie, by the way, but you can just call me Pidge, everyone does.”

Keith took a piece of popcorn and broke it apart, eating it in bits. "Keith.” He said quietly. She nodded and started their show. 

It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Keith opened up, to not only her but also to the rest of the Holt family, which made Shiro particularly happy. They spent almost all week together, every week. He knew everything about her, and she him. It was when they started to grow up that others started to make their friendship weird. Laughter was a common occurrence, one that Pidge and Keith got used to as they sat close together, in their own bubble outside the cafeteria. Keith didn’t understand it, why the boys in his class kept making sex jokes, which didn’t make Keith the least bit comfortable. Finally, he asked them straight out what they were trying to say, and after a rough explanation, Keith realized what they meant. He liked Pidge, a lot in fact, most of the time he didn’t understand what she was saying but, didn’t make her any less appealing. She just wasn’t appealing to him, at least not in the way that everyone was insinuating. It was brought up almost every time someone saw them whispering to each other. Girls would giggle and tell them to ‘just date already!’ but every time, Keith and Pidge would roll their eyes and continue in their own world. No one really understood that it was a simple friendship. It came up so often that the two of them had talked extensively about it, and at first it felt odd, asking each other about their personal feelings, but once they both admitted that dating was not what they wanted, it quickly became a joke. It was around that time when Keith began to fully open up to Pidge.

They were in high school, and because of modifications to Shiro’s arm, Keith had to go to the Holt house, though at that particular moment he didn’t really want to. When Shiro questioned him about it, he just shrugged and walked into the house and down the stairs, hoping Pidge wouldn’t question him too. 

Thankfully, she didn’t, though he could feel that she wanted to. They watched their show and paused it to talk every once and a while. It was odd though, like they both knew something wasn’t the same as before. Pidge was quieter than usual, and Keith could feel how unsettled she was. It was when Pidge suddenly paused their show that Keith really started to regret coming over. She spun quickly in her seat and glared at him. “You’ve been quiet all night. I can practically feel you brooding. You’ve been super weird all week too. What is up with you?”

Keith looked at her, “I’m always quiet.” And after a moment, “and I’m not brooding.”

She raised her eyebrow, “You know what I mean. Now, what’s wrong?” The question caused Keith to look away and pull his knees up to his chest.

“Nothing’s wrong” It came out kind of muffled due to the blanket he had shoved his face into. “It’s not important, can’t we just watch?”

“Not until you tell me.” She said. 

Keith huffed and just said, “Pidge.” His tone wasn’t friendly, it sounded more like a warning. 

She stopped and retracted, then turned around and sat back into the couch. “Okay. Fine, if you don’t want to talk, then fine.” She stopped abruptly and took a cooling breath and looked down at her hands in her lap. “I know it’s hard for you, I just wish you’d trust me with… whatever it is that is bothering you.”

Keith sat back up and sighed, “It’s not that is don’t trust you.” He stopped, trying to figure out how to continue. “I just… I don’t know how…. Okay… I…” He put his head in his hands and groaned loudly.

Pidge put a had on his shoulder and squeezed. “Hey, it’s cool. If you don’t want to talk about it, we don’t have to. Just tell me whenever it is when you’re ready. I’m sorry I got short with you.” She said softly, with a little smirk on her lips. Hoping that maybe the joke would lighten Keith’s mood.

He nodded and let out a large sigh, holding back tears, or at least trying to. He turned on the couch to face Pidge, took a breath and closed his eyes. After a moment, he opened his mouth and softly said, “Pidge… I’m gay.”

Silence. That was all Keith got. Pidge sat wide eyed and quiet before slumping and scrunching her eyebrows together. “Oh.” 

Keith could feel the tears threatening to spill, “I’m sorry…” he said quietly, retreating into himself once again. He put his hands in his hair and pulled his knees up to hide his face.

Pidge quickly looked up and the tears running down his face, and a sadness in his eyes. “Oh, god, Keith, no.” She pulled him into a hug and started rubbing his back slowly. “I don’t care that you’re gay. I really, really don’t.” she pulled him in tighter, letting him cry onto her shoulder before she softly continued, “I just want to see you happy.” He sobbed harder into her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her tightly. 

It was a long time before Keith cooled down and could let go of Pidge. As he pulled away, he felt her grip his hand tightly. He looked at her bowed head calmly as she rubbed her thumbs on the back of his hand. It took her a moment but quietly she spoke, “I was just thinking that, I get why you’d be scared... and I can understand why it was hard for you to tell me.” She gripped his hand harder, and as she continued, her voice suddenly got harder, stronger. “I need you to know that your past doesn’t define you,” Keith felt a tear drop on his hand, “You aren’t defined by what horrible things have been done to you. You’re defined by what you make out of yourself despite them.” She looked up at Keith with her eyes full of tears. “Thank you for telling me. Keith, you’re so, so brave.”

It was moments like that with Pidge that Keith treasured. It was also what made moving away to go to university so hard. Keith finally had a family, one he didn’t want to leave behind, but everyone, including Pidge, told him that he had to. It helped that Shiro decided to rent them a cheap, small house in the outskirts of the city. It was breaking down and wasn’t the best, but Keith found solace in doing manual labour, so it got fixed up slowly. It also helped with rent, their land lord would lower their rent if she liked what Keith did. It was a place for Keith, Shiro, and Adam to live, a nice first home while they were at school. 

School soon became tough and Keith’s grades were falling; Pidge wasn’t with him and there were too many people. So, by the second semester, Shiro forced him to register with the Student Union as a student with a disability. He had had enough breakdowns that Shiro wasn’t going to let him fail out of school when he had worked so hard to get in. Also, Pidge had called him in a fit of rage when she found out that he was on academic probation, threatening to come up and ‘rip him a new one’ if he didn’t get his grades up. It was rough, and tiring, but he was able to get through with average grades. 

The next year Pidge moved up them, she stayed in the basement in a small room that probably wasn’t supposed to be a bedroom, but she liked it, she said it was cozy and she liked the darkness. Having Pidge around made things easier, certain things didn’t cost as much and she helped Keith with his homework when she could. It was nice being in the same house, she was there for him and helped as much as she could, but by the time the second semester came around Keith made the choice to take some time off from school. He worked full time at an auto body shop to waste the days away as he figured out what he wanted to do for the rest of his life. Their make-shift family would eat together every night they could, it was at supper when Pidge started mentioning her new friends.

They were just cleaning up dinner, when Pidge spoke up. “Guys, could I go to a party?” 

Shiro, who was washing a pot in the sink, whipped his head around and stared at Pidge, gawking. “What?”

Pidge shrugged and put her plate in the dishwasher, “My friends from school are having a party for their floor and asked if I wanted to come.”

Shiro looked at Adam questioningly. They seemed to have a silent conversation between them before Shiro turned back to Pidge, “I don’t know if-” 

“I’ll go with her.” Keith said, cutting him off. Shiro turned to the door way where Keith stood and gave him an incredulous look, as if Keith was the one wearing a god-awful apron and a bread bag on his arm, and not Shiro himself. “You’re going to say no because you don’t know the people there and you’re worried, I get that, but I don’t think Pidge should have to live her life secluded from society because we’re all too scared to let her out of our sight.” Shiro then pulled his hands out of the sink and turned his whole body to face Keith, he looked like he wanted to say something, but Keith kept talking, “I’ll take her, make sure she’s safe and bring her back home, she’ll be perfectly fine, nothing to worry about.”

Shiro’s face twisted like he wasn’t happy with it, but Adam put a hand on his shoulder, and gave him a sad smile, “She has to grow up eventually.” He said softly, though his voice implied that he was talking about Keith too. Shiro, who was looking at Adam, closed his eyes and sighed. He turned to Pidge and nodded slowly.  
Pidge smiled and thanked them with a hug. 

Later that night, Keith heard a knock on his door, he didn’t get a chance to say anything before his door opened slowly.

“Dude, I could have been changing.” He said to Pidge from his slouched position on his bed.

She closed the door behind her and sat on the bed across from him, “You lock the door when you change.” She pulled her legs up to sit cross legged so that she could face Keith. “I just came to ask if you are really alright with coming to the party with me.” Keith closed the book he was holding and sat up. “It’s just that, it’ll be loud, and my friends are a bit ridiculous and I don’t need to go if you aren’t comfortable with it.”

“Pidge, I’m not going to break because of one loud, ridiculous party.” It came out harsher than it was supposed to, so Keith took a breath and scooted closer to Pidge. “I’m…not very good with words, but I’ll have to talk to people eventually, right?” Pidge shrugged, a small smile on her face. Keith smiled and hugged her. “Now, go to bed, you have your early class tomorrow.”

“We both know I am not going to sleep anytime soon.” Pidge said, getting off Keith’s bed and opening the door to leave his room. “Thanks, Keith.” Keith gave her a small smile and sent her off with a good night.

The next two days passed by quickly. Before Keith knew it, it was Saturday night. He had a shower, thoroughly scrubbing away the grease that was left over from his shift at the shop, and attempted to do his hair. After what seemed like forever, he finally asked Pidge for help. However, she looked at him like he was crazy and replied with, “You think I know how to do hair?”

In the end they helped each other where they could, and finally got dressed, and then were immediately forced to change into what Adam deemed ‘actual party clothes’. They left later than they were supposed to but apparently it was fine because they were ‘fashionably late’, which would probably be Pidge’s excuse to her friends once they got in. As they pulled into the residence parking lot and got out, Keith looked to Pidge. 

“Did Shiro say anything about how much you’re allowed to drink?”

“Ya, but I doubt I’ll have much, if any. I don’t even know how long I want to stay.” She replied. She was texting someone, probably her friends to let them know she was finally there.

“Okay, just don’t drink a bunch all at once. You’re small and it’ll hit you fast.” At that she just nodded along, looking at her phone rather than Keith. Keith never did understand how she managed to walk and not hit anything or trip when she was staring at her phone.

When they finally got to the door it instantly flew open, and a cheery voice screamed, “Pidge!”

“Hey, Lance,” she replied, “this is Keith.” She gestured to Keith, who was standing quietly behind her. Keith looked at Lance and smiled a bit. Lance was lithe and tall. He had beautiful caramel skin that looked well taken care of and a sparkling smile, which made him look all the prettier to Keith.

“And hello Keith.” Lance said with a smirk, which promptly turned into a pout when Pidge punched him. Keith gave him a little wave but didn’t say anything. “The name’s Lance, come on in!” He said loudly over the music, and then glared at Pidge who did nothing but roll her eyes.

As they entered, Keith heard a loud voice happily yell Pidge’s name from across the room. He saw a large man apologize to who he was talking to and watched him run towards where they were standing. 

“Pidge! Glad you could make it!” The large man turned to Keith with a big smile, “You must be Keith! I’m Hunk, good to meet you.” He stuck out his hand and gave Keith a soft handshake. He was shorter than Lance, with slightly darker skin. Due to his size, he looked a little intimidating, but his voice and smile were soft, much like Lance’s. He was a beautiful man, and Keith started to wonder where Pidge had got all her attractive friends from. “We’re glad you could come! I hope you enjoy yourself!” He said with a smile.

Soon, Hunk scampered off. Keith looked around and saw that Lance was already on the other side of the room, chatting happily. Keith looked down at Pidge and saw her eyes watching Hunk, like it was where she wanted to be. 

“You know you can leave me.” Keith sighed. Pidge was kind, sometimes too kind.

Pidge turned to him, “No, I came with you, and you don’t know anyone.”

“It’s fine, I’m just here to babysit, and you know it. Go talk to your friends, I’ll be fine alone.” Keith pushed her forward a bit. She drew her eyebrows together for a moment before giving Keith a small smile and walking over to Hunk and instantly getting sucked into the conversation. Keith leaned against the nearest wall and took in the room around him. It was weird. Keith hadn’t been to a party before, and for some reason he had assumed it would be more… well, more everything. There was music playing, but no one was dancing to it. The beer pong table was active, but it wasn’t crowded with a group of buff alpha male types, but instead surrounded by girls, who all seemed pretty intent on winning. Keith had expected a loud, obnoxious dance party with an overwhelming number of heterosexual couples making out in corners. Obviously, he was mistaken.

He had been off in his own world when he heard someone say something next to him. He turned his head and saw a man with pale blonde hair next to him. The man was looking at him expectantly, so he must have asked Keith a question.

“Sorry, could you repeat that?” Keith said.

“I said,” the man started, moving a little closer to Keith. “You look a little out of place.”

Keith moved a bit so he wasn’t leaning against the wall, but instead was facing the man speaking to him, “Uh, ya… My friend didn’t want to come alone.” 

“So, they dragged you along and left you alone?” it sounded as if the man was trying to be genuine, but failed. Keith opened his mouth to answer – “Well, that is just unacceptable. My name is Lotor, and I would be willing to keep you company tonight.” He smirked, obviously meaning the whole night. “What is your name?”

Keith’s eyebrows drew together, “Keith.” He said quickly, as he moved away from Lotor slightly. Keith could feel his heart rate pick up, he started to clench and unclench his hands, rubbing his fingers together in an attempt to calm himself down. 

“Well, Keith, do you go to school here?” Lotor moved so he was in front of Keith, who now had his back against the wall. It didn’t help Keith to calm down. He didn’t like feeling trapped, and he especially didn’t like feeling trapped by another person. 

Keith took a breath in, “Not anymore. Look, I really should be with my friend, I’m supposed to be keeping an eye on her.” He said quickly, but as he tried to move Lotor countered his movements. Keith really was starting to dislike this guy. 

“I’m sure she’s fine, it’s perfectly safe here. Why don’t you stay with me a bit longer?” Lotor made no inclination he was about to let Keith leave. It wasn’t like people hadn’t approached Keith before, but they usually left fairly quickly once they actually tried to talk to him. He usually got told he was a dick, and that he would have more friends if he was actually nice. That was when he knew he had dodged a bullet, or several. Maybe they were right, maybe he would have a bigger social circle if he was nice to everyone around him, but Keith was perfectly comfortable in his small bubble, made of his small family. 

That was why Lotor bothered Keith so much. He didn’t know when to stop and obviously didn’t know what personal space was either, since he moved in closer, placing a hand on Keith’s hip, causing him to freeze. Lotor either didn’t feel Keith tense up or wasn’t about to move despite it. 

Before Keith could reply to Lotor’s previous comment, he saw a hand on Lotor’s shoulder. “Can I borrow Keith for a moment?” Lotor rolled his eyes and turned around, to Lance’s smiling face, “Pidge needs him.”

“If you wanted my attention, all you had to do was ask, Lance.” Lotor smirked and leaned in towards Lance in a suggestive manner.

“I just need Keith for now, thanks.” Lance gave him a smile that seemed more ill-contented than anything. Lance glanced at Keith and gestured his head, which Keith took as his signal to move. Keith followed Lance across the room to Pidge, but was soon directed around a small corner. “Sorry about Lotor, he can be very forward. Are you okay?”

Keith’s face must have shown how rattled he felt by the little encounter. “I’ll be fine,” He said quickly. He stood up straighter and moved away from Lance, distancing himself from the people around him. Why did everyone have to be so close together? He saw Lance’s eyebrows draw together at his hasty retreat.

“Did you… want to go to my bedroom?” Lance said, he had kept himself at a distance from Keith, speaking softly, which he felt was quite odd, from what Pidge had told him about Lance. He had expected Lance to want to touch and be loud, but whatever stopped him, Keith was thankful. The Keith thought about what Lance said, then took a small step back and away from Lance, he wasn’t sure what he meant but he also wasn’t willing to find out the hard way. He gave Lance a weird look and Lance’s face dropped.

“No! I didn’t mean like, no, no, I just meant its locked and no one can get in!” Keith leaned back a little further and raised his eyebrows. By this point he pretty much figured out what Lance was trying to say but, was starting to enjoy watching him fumble. “No, that’s.... Not what I meant.” Lance sighed, and Keith started to smile, “This hole I’ve managed to dig myself into, it just keeps getting deeper, doesn’t it?” That caused Keith to let out a small breath of laughter. 

“Please, keep going.” Keith prompted. Lance smiled at Keith and held out a key to him. 

“Here, you can hang out in my room, It’s the furthest one; and I’ll let Pidge know where you are.” Keith hesitantly grabbed the key and nodded a small thank you. “Oh! Feel free to take anything from the mini fridge!” Lance said before trying to pick his way across the room.

Keith’s smile stayed with him as he made his way to Lance’s bedroom. He unlocked the door, and quickly shut it after finding the light. He looked around, and whatever he assumed Lance’s room to look like, it wasn’t this. The room had white walls and dark flooring, but if the posters stuck to the wall were any indication, the colour of the walls weren’t what Lance would have picked. Keith took in the dark brown desk and dresser that were covered in trinkets and the bright clothes that were hanging in the closet, a colourful array that would have looked beautiful with Lance’s skin. He saw the mini fridge Lance had mentioned sitting at the end of the bed, and went to open it. It was filled with water and various sugary drinks, each looking like they had more sugar in them than anything Keith had ever seen. He closed the fridge without grabbing anything and took a seat at Lance’s desk and looked over the mounds of school work there. There were charts and star patterns, papers that looked like physics, and more math that Keith ever wanted to see again. Keith moved the papers slightly, he recognized some of the work as sheets he had done when he had attended school. He still had all the work too. Maybe Lance wanted to borrow it? Or would that be cheating? No, school always tells you to use all the resources available, this is exactly that. As he was looking at the papers, Keith was startled by the door opening. He whipped his head around and stood up. 

“Dude, it’s just me.” Pidge said. “Lance told me what happened, are you okay?” She shut the door, and locked it. Keith relaxed a little, Pidge’s presence always helped him. He nodded in response to her question and sat back down. 

“I’m fine.” He said, “Just came in here to take a step back from the party.”

Pidge gave him a look that told him she didn’t believe it. “We don’t have to stay. We can leave at any time, just say the word.”

Keith shook his head, and set his water down. “No, you came here for a reason, and whatever that reason may be, we should stay until you’ve completed your mission.” At that, Pidge smiled. 

“I didn’t really come for a specific reason.” She said, hopping onto Lance’s bed, which was very tall, causing Pidge to look smaller than usual. “I just wanted to see what all the hype was about. And honestly, my hypothesis was proven correct.”

“Oh? And what was your hypothesis?” 

Pidge smirked, “That I am not the partying type.” 

Keith raises an eyebrow and chuckled a little bit, “I could have told you that, there little Pidge.” She smiled and laughed a bit. 

She hopped off the bed and made her way to the door, “Come on, let’s go home.” Keith smiled and followed her out. “I just want to say good bye, and then we will go, okay?”

“I have to give Lance his room key back anyway.” 

It took them a second to find Lance, but they found him laughing in the corner of the room. He had his arm around a girl, who just looked happy that Lance was near her, and a drink in the other hand. Keith frowned at how close Lance was to the girl but relaxed his face almost as quickly as the frown had appeared. He had no reason to be frowning. When Lance saw them, he shouted and scrambled out of his chair. 

“Hey! How are you two lovely folks?” Lance winked at Keith. “You, sir, are lovely in so many ways.” Keith blinked at him in disbelief, but Lance’s smirk was infectious, and so Keith shook his head and rolled his eyes, with a small smirk on his face. Lance took a step towards Keith, “I am a very honest person and in my honesty, I would like to tell you that you are beautiful.” He moved Keith’s bangs out of his face and smiled even bigger. Keith was trying his best not to let it bug him, but physical contact did not agree with him, sp he took a polite step back, away from Lance.

That’s when Pidge punched him, causing his hand to immediately move to where there would likely be a bruise, and away from Keith’s face. “Ow!” Lance exclaimed, in a very over the top fashion. 

“We are going home for the night Lance, I will see you at school.” She said with her eyebrows raised. She looked vaguely like a mother giving her son a warning side-eye. 

“Oh! Already?” he sounded shocked, but shrugged when Pidge nodded, “Okay! Well, I’ll see you Pidge,” then he turned to Keith, “and I can’t wait till I get to see you next.” He winked and then immediately spun back around to rejoin the party.

Keith could feel Pidge glancing his way every few seconds. She was probably looking at the tiny smirk on Keith's face. 

Once they got in the truck and Keith began driving, Pidge spoke. “Lance is sorry.” 

Keith let out small laugh, “With how hard you hit him, I’m sure he is.”

She smiled, looking a little proud, and after a moment, she looked at Keith again, “He didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.” 

“It’s fine, I wasn’t really uncomfortable. It was just unexpected, that’s all.” Keith said. It was true too, Lance had made him laugh, which felt good after how the night had started, if he was being honest. 

“It’s not like you didn’t enjoy it either.” Pidge said cockily. Keith scoffed at her.

“What makes you think I enjoyed any of your experimental outing?” 

Pidge raised her eyebrows, staring at him. After a moment, she poked his cheek, “The fact that you haven’t stopped smiling since we left.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he denied, trying his very best to stop smiling.

“Oh, uh huh. Sure.” She scoffed.

“And here I was going to buy you ice cream.” Keith said, pulling into the ice cream shop drive through. He did end up buying her ice cream, on the condition that she mention none of what transpired to Shiro or Adam. She pulled her mouth shut like a zipper and threw away the imaginary key.

When they got they got home, Adam and Shiro were watching a movie. Well, ‘watching’ a movie. Pidge walked into the living room and promptly screamed.

“Pidge! Keith! You weren’t supposed to be home for another hour!” Shiro exclaimed as he made to stand, half naked and surprised. Adam, whose clothes were messed and barely hanging off his frame, looked like he was trying not to laugh, and was doing a better job than Keith who was laughing to himself in the corner. 

“So, what? You decided to have sex on the couch? Thank you, I am never sitting there again.” She shrieked, causing Keith to laugh harder. 

Shiro gaped for a moment before straightening up and asking, “How’d it go?” 

“Lance hit on Keith.” Pidge replied with a smile. Keith stopped laughing and whipped his head around to Pidge. Shiro raised his eyebrows.

“It was a joke.” Keith said quickly, trying to cover up what Pidge had promised not to tell anyone. He moved his gaze from Pidge and looked at Shiro, “It went fine.”

“More than fine, as I understand it.” Shiro offered. Keith heard a soft “tag team” come from Adam who was still sprawled on the couch.

Keith gaped at Shiro, before walking out of the living room with purpose. “I’m going to go have a shower so that I don’t have to be around,” he made a gesture to all the occupants in the room, “this, anymore.”

Pidge laughed and just said, “Good night! I’m going to bed, all that socializing really wears me down.” And she disappeared down the stairs.

After his shower, Keith took a short walk around the house, making sure that the lights were all off, and double checking the door. Once he got back to his room, he locked the door, and began to change. Just as he was pulling his pajama pants on, he heard a knock on his door.

“Keith, its me.” Came Shiro’s muffled voice from the other side of the door. Keith finished pulling his pants on, unlocked his door, and opened it for Shiro. He came in and took a seat on Keith’s bed. “So, how was it?” He asked, to which Keith raised an eye brow. But Shiro gave him a look, “I mean, actually.”

Keith sat down beside Shiro and shrugged. “Boring? Pidge said she went as an experiment. We agreed it wasn’t really our scene, then left.”

“That’s all?” He sounded worried, but Keith nodded, and Shiro sighed deeply. “Good… I was worried all night.”

Keith smirked, “You didn’t seem too worried when we walked in.” His snide remark earned him a glare. It was quiet for a bit as they just sat in each other’s company. 

“Thank you for going with her. You were right, about not keeping her captive. She needs her freedom.” Shiro said quietly before standing up. “Goodnight, get some rest Keith.”

Keith must have been exhausted, because he fell asleep as soon as he laid down again after locking his door.


	2. Last Place

_The floor stretched across his line of view, it was covered in hay and blood, some old, some much newer. The building, or barn from what it looked like, smelled of sex and burnt copper from the blood and dirt mixture coagulating all around. Barely able to lift his head out of the cramped position, between thin silver criss-crossed bars that glinted in front of him, he saw Shiro laying on a table, unmoving and bloody. Hopefully he was only unconscious and not… dead. His gaze shifted away from the probably – hopefully - unconscious Shiro and instead looked down and saw his bare body, covered in nothing but his own filth and blood. His breath started to quicken, his eyes shot around the room, searching. Just as his breath started to settle, there was a sound, the barn door open and a man, old, dirty, and cruel, came into view, a gruesome smile on his face. He crossed the room and crouched in front of the little cage, stroking gently at the bars._

_“I can’t wait to get to you today.”_

Keith’s eyes flew open, and he sat up so fast he nearly fell off his bed. His bed. With his blankets. In his room. Inside his house. Near the city. He was in his bed, under his favourite blankets, in his room, in the house that he lived in with his brother Shiro, Shiro’s boyfriend Adam, and Katie, who went by Pidge. He was in his, Shiro, Adam, and Pidge’s house, just outside of the city, where Pidge went to school, and Keith worked. He was fine. He was safe.

He put his hands beside him and griped his sheets, they were warm, too warm. He ripped his sheets from where they were stuck to his body from sweat. He swung his legs over the side of the bed, trying to slow his breathing. He focused on his breath, and began naming the constellations he had painted on his walls one sleepless night. Once he calmed down a bit, he looked at his bedside clock. Just after six am. He had to be at work in three hours, which meant he had an hour and a half to blow before he had to wake Pidge, so she could lay in bed until they had get into his truck and drive to the school. He swung his feet out of bed and got up. He wouldn’t be getting any more sleep. As he walked into the kitchen, he heard someone banging around. His heartbeat picked up for a second before he reminded himself that Shiro was an early riser. Panicking for nothing, his specialty. He turned the corner into the kitchen and said a soft good morning to his brother, who looked to be washing the dishes. 

Shiro turned, concerned, “Couldn’t sleep?” Keith shook his head and started pulling out ingredients. “Making breakfast?” 

“Ya, I have time to waste.” Keith replied, with his head in their pantry. “I was thinking a pancake breakfast.”

“Sounds good, I’ll help once I’m done rinsing these ice cream containers that magically appeared last night.” 

Keith smiled and set to work. Cooking has become a skill he had gained out of necessity. He wasn’t as good as Adam, but it didn’t usually taste too bad, and pancakes were his specialty. With Shiro’s help, he finished cooking, frying, and chopping in an hour. Once they set up the buffet on the counters, they went to wake Pidge and Adam. There was rule, the only person that was allowed to wake Pidge was Keith, Shiro was too gentle, and she usually fell back to sleep, but Adam was aggressive, and at one point had literally dragged her out of her bed and half way up the stairs.

Keith walked down the stairs and crossed the hall to Pidge’s room. He knocked on the door and heard her muffled voice, “I can smell the bacon but is there coffee?”  
Keith smirked, “Of course there’s coffee.”. He then heard a few muffled noises and then the door opened. Pidge was up, but did not look like it. She was in pajama pants and a ratty old green bunny hug, and wrapped in a blanket. Keith followed her upstairs, and he wasn’t sure that her glasses were helping much, cause she seemed to be stumbling up the stairs blind. Once upstairs, she plopped at the table and stared at her empty plate.

“Pidge, glad you managed to join the land of the living!” Adam grinned cheekily. Pidge’s tired glare shifted from the plate to Adam, who rolled his eyes. Keith grabbed his and her plates and began loading them up with food. Pidge filled her and Keith’s cups with black coffee and hunched into her chair while she waited for food. 

Breakfast was quiet, everyone was tired and only Adam and Shiro were built for early mornings. Keith and Pidge left Shiro and Adam to clean up breakfast, mostly because they lost track of time. It was on the ride to school that Pidge finally was awake enough to start a conversation. 

“Did you have another nightmare?” she asked quietly. Keith’s silence answered for him. “I know you don’t want to, and I know what you’re going to say, but I think talking to someone would really help you.” She stared at him a long while before sitting back into her seat.

Keith knew she was right, she always was. He just couldn’t bring himself to relive it, let alone have someone take apart every moment and grumble out a dumb response, there were too many obstacles, and he was doing fine on his own. 

Keith kept quiet until they parked in front of the school. “I’ll come get you at five-thirty, text me if you need anything.” 

Pidge stared at Keith quietly for a moment before getting out of the truck and saying a quick goodbye. Keith knew she wanted to say something else but either she didn’t know what or didn’t think it mattered. She did that quite often, making it seem like there was something more to a conversation that Keith just couldn’t see, then again, Keith had never been much of a talker. 

After a quick drive, Keith parked his battered truck in the parking lot of the shop, then leaned his head back and closed his eyes, he had a few minutes before his shift in the autobody started. He felt as though he could fall asleep right there, because he was so tired. That is, until his phone buzzed. He pulled his phone out and opened the text message from Pidge.

_‘Hey, class was cancelled. Don’t worry about taking me home, Lance and Hunk said I could stay with them until you get off work.’_

Keith sat up and immediately texted back: _Are you sure? I can take you home. Will you be okay?'_ He sighed and suddenly began to feel his heart crawl up to his throat with worry. 

His phone vibrated a short moment later. _‘I’ll be fine Keith, I’ll just be at their place, and I promise to tell you if I go any where.’_

Keith made a face, though he knew she couldn’t see him. He rewrote his reply several times before settling and sending a simple _‘okay.’_ Keith knew he shouldn’t be worried, Pidge could handle herself, and Keith knew Lance and Hunk, and where their dorm was if anything happened. He told himself that until his stomach settled a bit, he knew the feeling wasn’t going to go away. He would stay anxious for the rest of the day until he picked Pidge up from Lance and Hunk’s place, all he could do was bury himself in work, keep himself distracted, and maybe feel better. 

 

He didn’t. He had been stressed the entire day, jumping every time his phone went off, expecting bad news. Most of the time it was Pidge, but she was just telling him what they had been doing, probably knowing how stressed out Keith was. Honestly, he didn’t know why he was panicking so much. Pidge could take care of herself. She was good in a fight if need be, and she had Lance and Hunk with her all day. As little as Keith knew about them, he could tell they were kind. Keith had grown wary of strangers, but with Lance, he simply felt at ease, like he could trust him. 

The moment it hit five, Keith ran out. He drove carefully because he knew Pidge would yell at him if he didn’t, but that didn’t stop him from wanting to run every red light he came to. He knew he shouldn’t be as scared as he was, and he didn’t know why he was so agitated. Perhaps it was because of his nightmare he had this morning…. Keith shook his head and focused on the road. He pushed his nightmare to the back of his head and took a few deep breaths. He was safe, and so was Pidge. He pulled into the parking lot and jumped out of his truck. He followed a few people into the dorm building and tried his best to walk slow. He got to the door and knocked a little harder than necessary. He shifted awkwardly for the minute it took for the door to open, jittery, and ready to make sure Pidge was alright. When the door did open, Lance appeared with a sparkling smile on his face. 

“Well, if it isn’t Keith. Couldn’t get enough of me last time?” Lance smirked and leaned against the door. 

Keith furrowed his eyebrows, “Where’s Pidge?”

“Straight to the point then, alright,” Lance moved out of the door way, a silent invite in. “She’s just finishing up a race with Hunk.”

Keith nodded and walked inside slowly, as if he were a cat in a new environment. He looked around the apartment, it looked different in the evening. The living room walls were mostly windows and there was a beautiful sunset shining through, causing the entire dorm to glow. Pidge and Hunk were sitting on the couches, concentrating on the tv in front of them. They were racing, Pidge had the lead, which didn’t surprise Keith much, because that’s all she did, play video games. 

“They’ve been here for three hours now.” Keith heard from behind him, he turned and saw Lance smiling his beautiful smile. “Hunk is determined to win.”

Keith snorted, “Pidge would never let that happen.” He knew it too. He had once played video games with Pidge for an entire day trying to beat her, but she either had immense talent, or had cheated. Keith still thinks she cheated, though she claims to have won purely by skill. 

“Ya, I got close, but somehow she still beat me. What about you? Do you play?” Lance asked, turning away from Pidge and Hunk and toward Keith.

“Sometimes. Pidge will ask me to play every once and a while. Though, I can’t say I’m any good.” Keith said, and as he spoke he realized that he wasn’t anxious anymore. Maybe it was knowing that Pidge was safe, being able to see her. Or maybe Lance had calmed him down somehow? Keith shoook his head. Now he was just being dramatic.

Lance got a mischievous look on his face, “Wanna play? You and me?”

Keith turned back to Pidge, she looked like she was having fun, and Keith didn’t wasn’t to be the one to take that away. “I don’t know, we have to get back for supper.” As soon as he finished talking he heard maniacal laughter from the couch followed by a long, low groan.

“Keith! Hey!” Pidge screamed. “I just beat Hunk for like, the hundredth time in a row!” Keith smiled at her, and then she turned back to Hunk, “Hey man, maybe next time, right?” and then she started laughing again.

“Dude, one game won’t hurt.” Lance said. Keith knew peer pressure was usually a bad thing, but how bad could playing one round of Mario Kart be? 

Keith rolled his eyes, “Fine. One round.” He agreed, causing Lance to whoop and vault himself over the couch. 

“Keith’s playing?” Pidge asked excitedly. 

“One round.” Keith replied. To which Pidge hummed, like she didn’t believe him. Keith awkwardly stood, not sure where to sit. Maybe they wanted the couch, Keith could take the floor, he did when he was younger. 

“Dude, just sit where ever.” Lance said, not paying attention as he got the game set up. 

Keith furrowed his eyebrows once again and asked, “Are you sure? I just got off work. I’m dirty.”

Lance chuckled, “Ya man, there has been far worse on that couch, trust me.” That earned a groan from Hunk, who obviously would have been perfectly happy without knowing his couch had been soiled. “And besides,” Lance continued, “I like my men dirty.” That’s when he turned his attention away from the tv and to Keith, and winked. That one earned a scolding shout from Pidge. “Alright, I’m guessing you know how to play?”

Keith took a seat and took the controller from Lance, “Ya, I know how to play.” 

Turns out, Keith did know how to play, better than he let on. He beat Lance three races to one and, when asked for a rematch, gratefully accepted. They played more than one round, Keith winning more often, but Lance kept a close second. It had been a long time since Keith had enjoyed himself so much. It was a new feeling, not being tense or stressed. The only time it happened was with Pidge, but between her school and Keith’s work, they didn’t often get time to just hang out like the used to. Keith never knew how much he missed it until now, sitting on the couch, laughing at a screaming Lance. He finally felt… safe. Suddenly, in the midst of the race, Hunk called out, “Pizza’s here!”

“Pizza?” Keith asked, as he passed by Lance, taking first place, making Lance growl. 

“Ya, pizza. We always have pizza when there are people over.” Lance replied, passing Keith and winning first at the last second. Lance screamed and jumped in the air. “Hell ya! That’s right! Lance wins!”

Keith rolled his eyes and shook his head with a smile on his face. He watched as Lance walked into the kitchen, well, vaulted off the back of the couch and then walked into the kitchen, and pulled Hunk into a hug, probably thanking him for ordering the food. Keith stood up and gingerly walked over to where all the pizza was lined up. There were four boxes, though why they thought they’d need four large pizzas was beyond Keith. 

Keith wasn’t a picky eater, his life taught him to eat what he was given. He looked at the four boxes and realized they had three different kinds, including Keith’s favourite. He watched as Lance and Hunk stacked their pizza on plates, followed by Pidge. 

Hunk nudged Keith, “Grab some food, Pidge said you like Hawaiian.” 

“Ya,” Lance shouted fromt the kitchen, “like a weirdo.” 

Keith looked at Pidge who nudged him forward, “Dude, they bought it for all of us, grab some and come watch tv with us.” She walked over and sat on the floor in front of the couch.

Keith smiled, and went to grab something to eat, thinking about how he was glad he met Pidge, and that Matt approaching Shiro about his arm was possibly the best thing that happened to him. Keith stopped in the middle of putting a second piece of pizza on his plate. “Oh Shit!” He put the plate down and immediately grabbed his phone out of his pocket. “shit shit shit shit.” He repeated quietly. His phone read just after seven, “Oh fuck.” 

“What’s wrong?” Pidge asked, but her voice sounded far away as he quickly dialed Shiro’s number on his phone.

“Keith?” Shiro said, on the other end of the line. “Keith! Are you okay?”

“Ya, ya, I’m fine, I’m with Pidge.” Keith replied quickly, he barely heard Pidge swear before seeing her practically dive across the living room to where her phone was plugged in. 

“Where are you? Where have you been? You were supposed to be home nearly two hours ago!” Shiro sounded like he was winded, his voice was ragged and rough, kind of like he was ready to cry.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry Shiro! I’m so sorry.” Keith quickly responded, running a hand through his hair, and trying to regulate his breathing. “We’re fine, we’ve just been at Lance and Hunk’s apartment, we were playing video games and I lost track of time.”

“Jesus, Keith! I was panicking over here! You were supposed to be home for supper and when you weren’t I started freaking out, and you weren’t answering your phone, and… and… Keith you scared me!” Shiro sounded like he was about to cry, if he already wasn’t. He sounded tired and angry, but mostly scared.

“I know Shiro, I’m sorry. We will leave now, okay? I’ll be home in half an hour, okay?” Keith said softly, trying to apologize with his voice and his words.

“You better be.” Shiro responded, but he didn’t hang up. Keith breathed out a small “ya” and hung up his phone. 

“Pidge.” Keith’s voice was shaking as he spoke, “we’re leaving.” Pidge nodded quickly and grabbed her bag, making sure everything was in it, she looked at Keith and sighed. 

It was quiet for a moment before Lance spoke, “Did… something happen?”

Keith shook his head, “No. Yes? I forgot to tell Shiro where we were and now he’s freaking out.” He made his way to the door, “Thanks for having us…. I had a lot of fun, thank you.” Keith could feel Pidge staring at him as he walked out the door. He heard Pidge reassure Lance and Hunk that she would explain, just not right now, before saying good bye, and going to meet Keith at the elevators. 

Keith breathed heavily, and mumble, “I can’t believe I did that to him, I’m such an idiot.” 

“No, you’re not.” Pidge said sternly, “You were just having fun.” There was a long silence in the elevator, only filled with the agitated jingling of Keith’s keys before Pidge quietly said, “It’s not just your fault, I forgot to answer my phone too.” Keith figured it was her way of trying to give him some piece of mind, but he couldn’t hear her, his mind was going a thousand miles a minute trying to find a way to get home faster.

After they left the elevator, they pretty much stayed silent. Keith was so angry at himself, and Pidge knew she couldn’t say anything to make it better, and as they drove home, speeding most of the way, Keith’s breathing began to hiccup, like he was trying not to cry. He knew Shiro worried about him, and he didn’t blame him, Keith felt so idiotic for not remembering the one thing that gives Shiro solace while everyone is out of the house. How had he forgotten to answer his phone? Or even text Shiro that he was picking Pidge up from Hunk and Lance’s apartment, at least then Shiro would have known where they might have been. Instead, Keith had left Shiro to wonder if they had gotten in a themselves killed or gotten in a car crash, or worse, kidnapped. When they arrived home, Keith leaned his head back against his seat, and took a deep breath. 

Pidge broke the tense silence, “You made a mistake, it happens.” Her voice was soft, meant to be consoling, but it only fueled Keith’s anger at himself.

His head shot up and he looked her in the eye, “You know exactly what happened the last time that I made a mistake!” He didn’t yell per se, but it was loud, and him slamming the door as hard as he could when he left didn’t help Pidge calm down any either. 

Keith took a cooling breath, and slowly opened the door, and immediately saw Shiro on the couch in the living room. He looked up and almost ran towards Keith, pulled him into his arms and hugging him tight. They stayed like that, until Keith heard the door open. He and Shiro wiped their eyes, and Keith turned to talk to Pidge but she was long gone, not that he blamed her. 

“Keith.” Shiro said, his voice stoic. Keith hung his head, not wanting to look at Shiro, and instead opting to look at his feet. “You need to let me know where you are. I can’t panic every time you don’t answer your phone.” Keith nodded, not knowing what to say. “I just want you to be safe. But, you really scared me today, Keith.”

Keith’s eyes felt warm, like he wanted to cry, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. It was only supposed to be one game and then…. I’m just so sorry, Shiro.”

Shiro looked like he wanted to comfort Keith, but held himself back, “I know you’re sorry. It’s just… Keith, we got you a cell phone so this wouldn’t happen. We made a deal when we got out of the system.” He sounded angry. Keith knew he had every right to be. He had broken Shiro’s trust and scared the hell out of him. “I’m surprised at the lack of responsibility from you, Keith. I know you’re better than this.” Disappointed Shiro was worse than angry Shiro. Keith definitely liked angry Shiro better.

Keith stayed quiet. He didn’t really know what to say. Keith felt small under the weight of Shiro’s gaze. It was his fault, he knew that, and he had no excuse for it. After a quiet moment, Shiro sighed, rubbed his eyes, and told Keith he was going to bed. Keith nodded, but made his way downstairs instead of his bedroom in order to go talk, apologise, to Pidge. 

He made his way down the stairs to the basement and across to Pidge’s room, there was no light coming from under the door, but Keith knew better than to assume that meant that she was asleep. He took a deep breath and knocked on her door. For a second, there was silence and then he heard a quiet voice telling him to come in. Keith opened and closed the door quietly. Pidge was sitting in the middle of her bed, cross legged, with her computer open. Keith slowly walked toward the bed and sat on the edge, wringing his hands together. He was quiet. He didn’t really know what to say, or how to say it properly. 

“I shouldn’t have said that, and I’m sorry.” He said softly, “I… there’s no excuse… and… I’m sorry.” 

Pidge was quiet, quieter than he’d ever seen her. Even when she slept, she talked, which made the silence uncomfortable, unbearable. “I want to say its okay, cause it is, and I accept your apology, but I’m still upset.” She said after a long while. Keith nodded to her, and she continued, “I don’t like when you yell. It scares me a little bit. You didn’t need to yell, and I know you had a rough day, but...” she trailed off 

Keith nodded again, “I’m sorry. Really, I am.” He sat on her bed a moment longer, until it was apparent that she was done talking. He got up and moved toward the door, just before he opened it, he softly added, “You were right earlier, by the way. I was having fun.” Keith gave her a soft smile, then, “Goodnight.” and he left. 

When he got upstairs only the hall lights were on, Shiro probably left them on so Keith wouldn’t run into anything. He checked that the front door was locked and made his was down the hall, and just as he was about to enter his room, Shiro opened the door to his own bedroom. Keith acknowledged him and he got a small nod in return, but just as Keith was about to close his door, Shiro stopped him. 

“Get a good sleep tonight.” 

Keith stopped and after a small moment softly replied, “Thanks, you too.” And went into his room. He locked his door and took a breath. Shiro hadn’t forgiven him quite yet, Keith didn’t know when he would. It wasn’t like Shiro to hold a grudge. Maybe everyone would feel better in the morning, or at least, Keith hoped they would. He quickly changed and laid down in his bed. He starred around his room looking at his constellations, and trying to quiet his mind, He didn’t feel tired, it wasn’t particularly late after all, so he picked up a book and went to reading, hoping that maybe it would put him to sleep, and this time without any nightmares.


	3. Tense is a Verb

Things weren’t better in the morning. Well, they were, but they weren’t as good as Keith had hoped they might be. Shiro still wasn’t happy with him, and was barely speaking to Keith, who had accidently gotten up too late to make an actual breakfast. He blamed it on the hectic day and lack of good sleep the night before. Not that he usually slept particularly well. His rough morning wasn’t helped by a still irritable Pidge, who was also still upset with Keith, though not the extent of Shiro. She was quiet, like usual in the mornings, but for some reason, today it felt intentional, rather than a simply being tired. This made the drive into the city eerily quiet. Usually, they would have the music playing and would sing along, or at least hum, depending on how early it was, but when Keith had turned it on, Pidge had immediately turned it off and went back to looking at her phone. Keith figured she needed her time, and let her have it.

Pidge back to her old self after school, forgetting that she was upset, in favour of needing to excitedly tell Keith about what ever had happened that day. It was around the same time that Keith decided that no amount of apologizing would make Shiro forgive him, he had done all he could and now it was up to Shiro. Forgiveness didn’t come soon though, it wasn’t until nearly the end of the week that Shiro decided it was time, and it didn’t come voluntarily. Pidge spoke up during supper, as she usually did when she needed something. Keith figured it was because it was her best chance to get someone to agree with her. Her odds were better if there were three people then if she were just asking one person. Besides, it usually came down to Shiro, and if anyone wanted anything, their best bet would be to ask Shiro when Adam was around. 

“Today, in class, our prof reminded us about a project that’s due in just over a month,” she started, staring at her food. “And the premise of it is to design and build a piece of simple technology. We have to work in pairs or groups, and Hunk is my partner.” She sounded excited, it was obviously the type of project that would interest her, or at least keep her busy for a few days. “So, I told Hunk that we could work here.”

Forks stopped clinking against plates, and everyone looked at Pidge. Pidge looked around, mostly at Shiro, who was often the deciding vote, and scrunched her eyebrows together. He didn’t look happy. “Are you telling us or asking us?” Shiro questioned, his voice soft, as though he were truly curious. 

Pidge put her fork down and sighed, “I know. It’s dumb to be asking when I know you’re still upset about how late Keith and I were the other night, but I need to get this project done. Hunk and Lance don’t have any room in their apartment, and the craft spaces are super hard to get.” She complained, “Also, I figured that you would prefer me here, instead of at their place, working as late as we want.”

Shiro huffed a bit and looked at Adam. They seemed to have a silent conversation, before Shiro sighed again. He couldn’t argue with her, she covered all her bases and planned everything perfectly so Shiro couldn’t complain. “Fine, but Hunk has to be here when you’re working on it. You aren’t to go to his place for the time being, and Keith will still pick you up after he is done work.”

“Thank you, Shiro!” Pidge shouted, with a large grin on her face. “I’ll tell Hunk after supper.” After that she turned to Adam and they started discussing ideas for the project. The time limit wasn’t they’re most pressing concern. Pidge knew what she was doing, and if all her talk about Hunk was anything to go by, she had a pretty good partner. The rest of supper was filled with Adam and Pidge gesturing wildly and shouting excitedly, with a few grabs at Shiro’s prosthetic.

Keith stayed quiet through most of supper, with Shiro still angry at him and with Keith refusing to apologise anymore, there wasn’t much he had left to say. After supper, Shiro shooed the Adam and Pidge away from the kitchen, so that they could “go be loud somewhere else”. Keith knew this trick. He grew up with it, and Shiro. He knew when Shiro wanted to talk to him alone, and it was never a good thing. As they cleaned off the table, the silence stretched longer. The only sounds in the kitchen were that of pots scraping and the stacking of plates. Just as Keith had finished wiping off the table, Shiro finally said something. 

“I’m not angry at you, you know that right?” He huffed. Even if his voice didn’t sound angry, his body language sure did.

“Could have fooled me.” Keith replied, not making eye contact with Shiro as he plunged his hands into hot, soapy water. Keith scrubbed the pots with more vigour than was probably necessary. He saw Shiro shake his head and lean against the counter in an effort to relax.

“You scared the crap out of me, Keith. Do you not understand that?” Shiro responded in a way completely contradicting what he had previously said. Keith stopped moving his hands in the water, about to say something, but Shiro continued. “You need to let me know where you go. How do you think I felt? Worrying about you, wondering where you were? Did you think that was okay?” Shiro’s voice sounded like he was accusing Keith.

“No! Of course, I didn’t!” Keith shouted. “Do you think I meant to not answer you? That I had deliberately ignored you? It was an accident, Shiro!” Keith pulled his hands out of the grimy water, and spun to look at Shiro, letting his soaked hands drip on the floor. “I accidently forgot to mention that I had gone to pick Pidge up! Something I do every day!”  
Shiro groaned and shook his head, he pinched his nose with his good hand a quietly spoke, “This isn’t fixing anything.”

Keith chuckled sadly, “I’ve done what I can to try and fix this. The ball’s in your court now, Shiro.” He flung the tea towel he’d used to dry his hands onto the counter and walked out of the kitchen, leaving Shiro to try and get over what Keith had already apologised substantially for.

Shiro and Keith didn’t talk much after that. Keith knew Shiro was sorry now, but he wouldn’t do anything about it. Keith felt like he was teaching Shiro a lesson that Shiro had taught him ages ago: responsibility.

 

Hunk was to drive himself, as Keith had been informed by Pidge. He would be over after supper. Which was quiet at best. Shiro was still angry at Keith and had been taken to the silent treatment. Keith couldn’t help but want to roll his eyes constantly, because Shiro was doing the exact thing he had gotten angry at Keith for doing when he was younger.   
Keith sat in his room, angry and upset. Shiro’s bad mood was affecting everyone around him, and he was getting pretty tired of it. There was no reason for Shiro to still be upset. Keith had done all he could, he had apologized multiple times, been compliant and did exactly as he was told, not breaking or bending a single rule for the past few days. Still, it seemed like nothing he did made Shiro feel better. He leaned his head against his wall, moving his eyes away from the book he had in his lap. He gazed mindlessly at the stars painted on his roof, then it hit him. It wasn’t nearly as quiet in the house as it should be. Their house was always quiet, he should have been able to hear each creak and groan of the shifting house, but instead, Keith heard laughing. Which was a sound he hadn’t heard in the house in days. He cautiously got out of his bed, pulled a pair of pants and an old red hoodie on before venturing down the hall. He peeked into the kitchen, where he saw not only Hunk and Pidge, but also Lance, laughing at something. Pidge was sitting on the counter next to the running microwave, with Lance and Hunk sitting at the table. They didn’t seem to notice him yet, which was fine by him. Keith moved so he couldn’t be seen from the kitchen doorway, and listened, curious as to what had them so happy. 

“You’re joking!” Keith heard Hunk yell. Pidge started laughing harder.

“Man, I wish! Keith isn’t allowed near him now!” Pidge said, equally loudly. Keith drew his eyebrows together. Why were they talking about him? Were they laughing at him? What had Pidge told them? He really didn’t need people he barely knew making fun of him.

“How did he not get kicked out? I’d love to punch Iverson in the face and get away with it.” Lance replied. Keith shrunk into himself. That… really hadn’t been one of his proudest moments. He had been having a bad day, in every way, and Iverson just… ended up in the crossfire.

Keith heard Pidge laugh nervously, “I wouldn’t say he got away with it exactly. He was put through weeks of torment by the staff before they let it go. He almost did get kicked out because of it.” Pidge said, her voice still holding a bit of laughter. Keith moved away from the kitchen and to the living room, he shouldn’t have been eavesdropping. He sat on the couch, grabbed the remote and turned on the tv. His and Pidge’s show had multiple recordings saved, not that he hadn’t seen them all, but his eyes were tired from reading and he needed something else to do. 

Keith didn’t hear the laughter from the kitchen die down or Pidge and Hunk run downstairs. What he did hear, however, was a voice, alarmingly close to him, say, “You’re into aliens?”

Keith shot up from the couch, spinning and almost tripping over the coffee table. He saw Lance with grin on his face and laughter in his eyes. Keith glared at Lance. Lance put his hands up defensively, as Keith sat back down, suddenly fully aware of the fact that he looked significantly less put together than Lance did. “I’ve been told I need to wear a bell. Too quiet.”

With how much Lance talks, Keith doubted he could ever be truly quiet. “Why are you here?” Keith said, pausing the show as Lance moved around to sit on the couch with him.

Lance shrugged and put his feet up on the coffee table, “Hunk’s car is in the shop, he needed a ride, but I don’t trust him in my car.”

“Which shop?”

Lance gave him a funny look, “Uh, I dunno, something down on 4th, why?” 

Keith shook his head, “Nothing. Never mind.” He didn’t know why he asked. That is where he works, but its not like it matters. Even if Keith did get to work on Hunk’s vehicle, its not like it would matter. Keith shook his head, it was a dumb thing to ask.

“It was a place Pidge recommended,” Lance continued. Keith rolled his eyes; of course Pidge recommended the place Keith worked. “I dunno why though, it’s not like she knows anything about cars.”

Keith snorted, “You’re telling me.” Lance looked over and smirked. 

“Right? I mean, I know even less, at least Pidge could recommend a good place to get it repaired. Hunk and I wouldn’t have known the first place to look. You’d think a couple of engineers would know how to fix a car, but no. Apparently not.”

“You’re an engineer? Your homework looked more like physics.” Keith asked, a little confused. Lance looked at him, curiosity in his face. Keith shouldn’t have asked that. He was talking too much, why was he talking so much? Still, none of Lance’s school work looked even remotely technological or mechanical. In fact, it looked a lot closer to the astronomy Keith had taken before.

“Me? An engineer?” Lance laughed, causing Keith to raise his eyebrows. “Nah man, that’s all way too confusing for me. I’m studying astrology and basic air force before I can move into practical training.” Keith nodded, at one time he had considered becoming a pilot, but decided it wasn’t for him halfway into the program. “What about you? What do you do?” Lance asked.

“I’m not in school.” Keith replied quickly, knowing Lance already knew that. 

Lance rolled his eyes, “Well, ya.” Lance paused for a moment, like he was considering something. “Did you really hit Iverson?” He said abruptly, in a quieted tone. Keith tried not to look smug. Yes, it hadn’t been his best idea, but did that mean he regretted it? No, not really.

“Why do you think he’s only got one eye?” Keith replied, trying to keep the happiness out of his voice. Lance’s face dropped. He stared at Keith wide eyed for a moment, before Keith couldn’t handle it anymore and started chuckling. Lance sat back and started laughing himself.

“You had me there for a second, dude.” Lance said, his laughter dying down. Keith kept smiling. It felt good. It felt like months since Keith had last smiled, even though it had only been a few days. He didn’t know what it was about Lance, but he felt relaxed around him. Like he had known him forever, and he could trust him totally. It was a feeling he didn’t get around too many people. After a quiet moment, Lance spoke again, “So what do you do with all your free time, mister I-Punched-Iverson?”

“I, uh, work. I have a job as a mechanic.” Keith said, his voice softer than it had been before.

“Dude! Why didn’t Pidge tell us! You could have helped with Hunk’s car!” Lance said excitedly. 

Keith shrugged, “Well, I still might.” Lance gave him a confused look, so he continued, “I work at the auto repair on 4th. It’s probably why Pidge recommended it.” Lance started laughing when he heard that. His laughter was contagious and caused Keith to smile. At least until he saw Shiro looking at them from the hallway. He didn’t look angry per se, in fact, he didn’t look like he had any emotion at all. Lance must have gotten curious as to what had stopped Keith smiling and looked over. 

“Hey! I’m Lance, I’m friends with Pidge!” Lance waved from the couch. He received a glare from Shiro.

Shiro crossed his arms, “I know.” Was all he said before going into the kitchen and walking out a moment later with a glass of water. 

Lance looked at Keith, “Did I do something I don’t know about?”

Keith sunk into the couch. “No. I did.” 

It was quiet for a moment before Lance softly asked, “Does this have anything to do with you and Pidge running out the other day?” Keith sighed and played the show.

“Yes. But he’s being irrational and irritable, so it doesn’t matter.” Lance seemed to get that the conversation was over and decided to quietly watch the show. 

Until about half way, when the ‘professional’ started talking physics. Keith heard Lance snort and saw him shake his head more than once. Apparently, three times is where Lance draws the line. “Okay, I’m sorry, but this is all wrong. His math is out, he is making up data as he goes along, and honestly, he looks a bit like a chimp.”

Keith snorted a bit. “Its not supposed to be real. It’s a sci-fi show.” 

Lance sat forward and looked Keith in the eye. “There are plot holes in the plot holes.” He flopped against the couch and gestured angrily at the screen. “We literally covered this in first year, and they’re screwing it up? I mean, I’m not going to say I got a great grade, but at least I know better than that.” 

“How did you not get a good grade in this? Its easy.” It slipped out before Keith could stop it.

“Oh, like you could do better?” Lance challenged, causing Keith to smirk.

“I probably did.” He replied with a smirk. He may have been a misfit, but he didn’t work his ass off for a scholarship just so he could fool around and flunk out of school. Lance gave him a funny look, like he didn’t believe him. “Come on.” Keith said, getting up from the couch and walking to his room. 

Keith started rummaging through his desk drawers, looking for his old papers. It was one of those things where you know you’re not going to look at them again, but for some reason don’t throw them out. He pulled out his old homework and plopped it on his bed, barely paying Lance any mind. 

“Dude,” Lance said, his voice sounding a little odd to Keith. “Your room is amazing.” Keith looked at where Lance stood in his doorway. He looked amazed. His eyes scanned the multi coloured walls, taking in every painting and poster. Lance’s eyes followed the constellations flowing across the room. Keith had put a lot of work into his star charts, and he took a lot of pride in them. He had made each wall a season, with the colours of the season outlining them and to match, he had charted the constellations of each season. Keith watched Lance as he stepped into the meticulously clean room carefully. He trailed his fingers over the light white paint on the navy blue of the summer wall. Summer was Keith’s favourite, not only because of the constellations that were specific to summer, but also because summer was warmer. It felt friendlier than the other seasons. Keith always saw winter as cold and stale, especially in comparison to summer. Keith could never get over the loneliness that came with the snow, along with the problems it brought, which were unpredictable and hard to gauge. 

“They’re beautiful.” Lance murmured.

Keith was still for a moment, “Thanks, I …uh, drew them myself.” He said quietly.

Lance’s heard whipped around, his hand dropping from the wall. “You did this? All of it?” Keith nodded, earning him a look of shock from Lance. “Dude, you’re going to have to paint something for me.” 

“I don’t think so. I’d never really done it before.”

“You must have taken classes, or maybe you were an art major!”

Keith shook his head, picking up the papers, and making to leave his room. “I was so not an art major.” He said as Lance followed him out of his room and back down the hall to the living room.

Lance ran up beside him and grabbed at a paper in Keith’s hand. “Then what were you doing? ‘Cause this looks like my homework.” He flipped through the pages before suddenly stopping in the middle of the hall way. 

“I was taking an air forces training course.” Keith answered, looking back at Lance, attempting to gauge his reaction. “I took a leave from school after what happened with Iverson.”

Lance looked at Keith in astonishment, “Dude! You’re amazing! This assignment is meant to be the most difficult one in BAS 110.” Keith nodded, he remembered it well enough, it had kept him up for hours, not only because of the difficulty level but also because it interested him so completely. Keith shoved the papers in Lance’s direction, he didn’t need them anymore, and maybe Lance could use them. He didn’t take them right away and gave Keith a funny look. “Dude, I can’t. That’s basically cheating.”

Keith rolled his eyes, “No, its not. You can use them as study tools. Look at the comments on my essay’s and stuff, like to give you a sense of what they’re looking for. I know I used all the help I could get.” At Lance’s confused look Keith sighed, “If I wanted to help you cheat I would just give you the electronic copies to plagiarize. It would be like a hundred percent harder to copy my essay than to just write your own.”

“I guess.” Lance conceded, “plus I’d actually have to read it and that is so not worth the effort.” He grabbed the stack of papers from Keith and they continued to make their way down the hall and back to the living room. 

After Lance put his new study guide in his bag, he found Hunk and Pidge in the living room with Keith. “Aren’t you two supposed to be doing something?”

Pidge shrugged, “We have our idea and the logistics all planned but we have to wait until next class to get it approved.”

“So, we came here for nothing?”

“I am so glad our company means so much to you, Lance. It touches my heart, truly.” Pidge shot back, her voice dripping in sarcasm. “No, you didn’t come for nothing. The two hours you were here would have been like five if we had tried to do it over the phone and even I’m not willing to stay up that late.”

Lance rolled his eyes at Pidge, “So, I guess we will be off then.” He glanced at Hunk and then at Keith, his gaze lingering. 

Keith saw Hunk get up off their probably way over used couch – the Shiro and Adam incident sparking uncomfortable thoughts – and move to grab his bag. He gave Keith a smile and walked to the entry way to get his shoes.

“So,” Lance began, “thanks for the notes.” He waved his hand at his bag, “I’ll give them back later.” He backed towards the entry way, where Hunk waited patiently.

“Keep ‘em.” Keith replied, following Lance into the tiny area. It was barely big enough for three people, so Keith leaned on the door way. “They’d do nothing but take up space here.” 

Lane nodded, fiddling with his shoes in an attempt to not have to bend down. “See ya later then! Thanks for the notes!”

Keith smiled and mumbled a small, “Drive safe.” Before the door closed. He turned and looked at Pidge, who was smiling a mischievous smile. “What?” he asked, not that she responded. She simply shrugged and turned back to the tv leaving Keith to wonder why she was so keen on being secretive.   
___________________________________________________________

Keith had got up to grab a glass of water. It was late, even Pidge had gone to sleep, but Keith was wide awake, for some reason, he just didn’t feel like sleeping. He couldn’t tell if he was jittery, excited, or just… happy. No matter what it was, it meant he had gotten up. His thoughts fell back on earlier that night, Lance’s voice, the way it had sounded when he saw Keith’s room, it brought a smile to his face. A smile that quickly faded when he saw Shiro walk into the kitchen. He stood quietly in the door way, looking as if he wanted say something but didn’t know where to start. Just as Keith was about to leave, he spoke.

“I know you’re upset with me,” Keith raised his eyebrows, curious to where this was going. “I just wanted to say, if you want to be friends with Lance, you can.”

Keith expression changed from curiosity, to confusion and anger. He knew Shiro didn’t like Lance, or Hunk for that matter, through no fault of their own. He had no reason to be upset with them just because Keith hadn’t answered his phone one time, and it just so happened that he and Pidge were at their house. Not only that, but the wording made it sound like Shiro had to allow Keith to be friends with someone, like he wasn’t capable of choosing his own friends. Shiro didn’t get to decide who his friends were. Keith must have been quiet for too long because Shiro continued.

“Keith, I just want what’s best for you,” Ya, he’d heard that before. He knew that Shiro was genuinely trying to apologize, but he also knew he’d never hear Shiro actually apologize. “Keith, are you going to say something? Or are you just going to stand there?” his voice turned stern.

Keith took a moment to decide, though he knew it was a rhetorical question. “I’m glad you made an attempt at an apology.”

Shiro looked at Keith, his eyebrows bunched together, “Keith…” He sounded hurt, and yes, Keith’s words may have been a little aggressive, but Keith was still upset. After a moment of scanning Keith’s face, Shiro continued, “I know you’re not a little kid anymore and I should stop treating you like one.”

Keith had not been expecting that. He stood, shocked, but stiffly nodded in agreement. “We can talk about it tomorrow.” He muttered.

Shiro nodded, and made to leave, but turned around just before he turned the corner into the hallway. “It was nice to see you laugh again.” And then he was gone.

Gently, he set his glass in the sink, leaning on the counter, trying to remember the last time he laughed. It felt like ages ago, but it had also been because of Lance. Every time they were together, Lance had made him laugh. Keith walked down the hallway towards his bedroom, the jittery feeling returning. As he laid in his bed Lance stuck in his mind, the way his slender fingers traced the stars. He had come into Keith’s room, and it hadn’t made Keith scared. He didn’t feel trapped, or scared. In fact, it was the opposite. He felt relaxed and calm in Lance’s presence, and even the thought of Lance’s warmth was enough to relax Keith. Lance made him feel safe.


	4. Inside out

They didn’t talk about it in the morning. In fact, Shiro seemed grumpier than he had the night before, so Keith made the executive decision to avoid him… and avoid him and keep avoiding him until several days had passed because not only was Shiro angry and unpredictable, but he didn’t seem to adamant about talking to Keith. It took almost a whole week before him and Shiro had finally gotten themselves onto the same page, though not without errors. Many, many errors. 

“I just don’t understand why it matters so much!” Keith yelled, exasperated by the long argument.

“It might not matter to you, but it matters to me!” Shiro shot back. 

Keith rolled his eyes, “It’s a work schedule, Shiro! Not the Rosetta stone! It changes from week to week, and sometimes I have to work late! I don’t always know when things will happen!”

“But you could let me know!” Shiro pleaded. “I get it, you’re grown up, and you don’t need me to tell you what to do anymore. However, that doesn’t mean you can just ignore your responsibilities!”

A shocked looked came over Keith’s face, “Responsibilities? You mean like my job? Where I get the money to pay for this house, and our food, and my truck. Those responsibilities?”

Shiro took a breath, his voice flat as he spoke. “You know what I mean.”

“You know what, Shiro? I don’t! I have no idea what you mean! I can’t read minds, and you of all people should know that.” Keith stomped off to his room.

Now, Keith knew it was common, expected even, for siblings to fight. But something about lately had caused an upheaval in tension in their little ranch house. At first, Keith thought it was him, especially since the arguments usually started with him. Though, as the week progressed, Keith started to realize that it wasn’t just him. Shiro was snapping at everyone. By the time Keith assessed the situation, he was already on a razors edge.

“What is your problem, Shiro? You’re being ridiculous lately, and honestly, it's starting to really get on my nerves.” Keith stressed. ‘Starting’ was an understatement, it got old a week ago. Shiro had been yelling almost everyday, and that was not the Shiro that Keith knew; that any of them knew for that matter. 

It took a moment for Shiro to calm down. He pulled a chair out from the table and sat down heavily. “I’m sorry. You’re right, even I’ve noticed it.”

Keith pulled a chair near Shiro and sat down a bit gentler, “You have to talk to us, it’s the only way we can help.” He spoke quietly, like he was approaching a small animal in need of help. Shiro had spent his entire life looking after Keith, and it was time he repaid the favour. Keith listened to the floor boards creaking as the wood shifted. The wind whistled outside, loudly, like a storm was coming. He knew Shiro was doing the same, listening and waiting. Keith had been in the same position as Shiro was now, he knew the feeling. It was an odd kind of sadness, a quiet one. Like a mouse tapping its toes. And in the time Shiro sat quietly, Keith knew he wasn’t mustering up any courage, or feeling like he couldn’t tell any one. Keith knew that in this moment, Shiro felt as he had, not fearful, but the urge to stay quiet, simply because he didn’t want to talk. As Keith listened to the house shift, he finally saw Shiro look at him. 

“The Garrison wants me to go on a trip.” He started, “It’s supposed to take nine months to complete, but... it's experimental, and dangerous. I’d also have to stay at base.” Shiro swallowed, “So, Adam and I have been… discussing it.” He paused, and Keith understood. Nine months was a long time. A long time not to live together. A long time in a dangerous place. Keith was starting to understand that Shiro and Adam weren’t discussing it. They had been actively fighting about it. Keith understood Shiro wanting to go, a new adventure, something exciting, not to mention, a pay raise. That was one Keith could understand the most. Growing up with nothing, and grinding his way through life, had him understanding that the pay would be a large factor. Shiro could send them money every paycheque, help with the house, school, and whatever else they needed. 

Although, it would mean Shiro leaving for nine months. On a dangerous mission no less. Keith could understand what he assumes to be Adam’s side. They were getting by fine right now, enough money for what they needed. And honestly, on the selfish side, Keith didn’t want Shiro to leave either, especially for such a long time. Not to mention, if all went well, they almost certainly would extend the mission. This wasn’t going to be easy.

Keith took a moment before answering slowly, “It is your decision in the end. You always seen to know what option is the right one.” Keith gave Shiro a small smile, “Rationalize it. Pros and cons. Do what you do best, Shiro. Lead by example.”

“You’re right, Keith.” He nodded a small bit, “I don’t have to give my answer for a while, so until it becomes adamant, we will put it on the back burner.”

Keith smiled, “Good.” Keith stood, going over to the fridge to pull come ice cream from the freezer, “And be sure to tell Adam that.” He said before turning around with a tub of ice cream and too spoons that were unhealthily large. “Now, we are going to go relax and sit quietly on the sofa, as the first step of our forgiveness of each other.”

Shiro nodded, “I’d like that,” he stood up, and lead the way into the living room. “Can we watch something badly made?”

“You are speaking my language,” Keith smirked, following him out.

“Wait,” Shiro sat up straighter on the couch, “you’re lactose intolerant.”

With a shrug, Keith responded, looking Shiro dead in the eye, “pain is a fabrication of the mind. True warriors know no pain.” Without turning his head from Shiro, he turned the tv on.

__________________________________________

Shiro knocked on the bathroom door, Keith had been in there for nearly half and hour now. “How is the ‘true warrior’ doing in there?” A laugh escaped him as he heard the sound of Keith groaning on the other side of the bathroom door. “Alright, well if the ‘fabrication of the mind’ stops anytime soon, let me know.”

Keith groaned a weak, “yup…”  
__________________________________________

Keith woke up the next morning feeling significantly better. Shiro was happier, since him and Keith weren’t fighting anymore, and Keith could only assume that Shiro and Adam weren’t fighting anymore. Another ‘perk’ of insomnia is that you spend a lot of time staring blankly and listening to the sounds around you. The sounds around Keith last night were quickly blocked out by headphones.

The house had a more home-y feel to it too. The sunshine was streaming through the kitchen window as they ate breakfast, brightening Keith’s mood. He loved the way it shone on their mediocre kitchen table. The brightness continued throughout the day, like a little reprieve, after an intense and bitter while they had just had. Keith had picked up Pidge from school and gotten the mail on the way home. Since they lived out of town, they had to grab their mail from a communal box rather than a right outside their house.   
The mail was thrown on the table, where it usually went until Keith grabbed his food and pretended he was an old man with a newspaper on Sunday morning. With cold pizza in hand, he sat down and sorted the mail into piles, who it was addressed to, junk mail, flyers. Keith threw another letter into Shiro’s pile, it was a little bit thicker than anything they usually got from the government, but it was probably just a paper with double copies in it for personal use. At least, that what he thought until he looked at the next letter in his hand, addressed to him. It was exactly the same, thickness, stamp, everything. Though, it didn’t look like the letters the usually got from the grants. Keith set the rest of the papers down and fiddled with it for a moment before deciding to dive in a just rip off the band-aid. 

As Keith read it he became less and less sure that he wanted to continue reading. When he had opened it, he recognized the court summons almost immediately. It had been years since he had seen one, but one doesn’t easily forget the papers, especially after seeing them so many times. He should have known it was going to come eventually, he just had hoped it would take longer. Keith had forgotten about it in recent months, not about the incident itself, but that the sick bastard would ask for parole the minute he was eligible. That just so happened to be today. 

Keith knew he had to call someone, anyone, everyone. He knew he wouldn’t get a moments rest for the next year at least. He knew he had to get off his ass and cover his bases but for now, he just wanted to lay down and cry. He must have sat there for a while, long enough for Pidge to get hungry and come upstairs for supper. Keith heard her come into the kitchen, he registered that she was there and had asked him something, he didn’t know what it was but he knew something had been said.

“Keith, what’s wrong with you?” Pidge asked, genuinely curious, if the confusion in her voice was anything to go on. Keith wanted to respond, but he couldn’t find it in himself to talk. He watched as Pidge walked over to him and put her hand on his shoulder, “Hey, what’s up?” she looked at the table, to the open letter in front of Keith. He didn’t know if she was allowed to read the letter, if it was legal or not for her to see his court summons, or Shiro’s for that matter. She picked it up and a hand flew to her mouth and looked at Keith with a shocked and solemn expression. “Oh, Keith…” She knelt next to him and grabbed his hand.

As Keith looked at Pidge, her face began to shift and distort. From behind his blurry vision, Keith thought he could see Pidge’s lips moving, though he couldn’t hear anything other than a garbled mess of noises behind the pounding in his ears. Keith’s spine stiffened, and he felt his hands start to shake as his joints locked. Keith tried to swallow, breathe, open his mouth, but he couldn’t move. His chest felt like it was on fire and he couldn’t get a breath out. He felt a hand on his shoulder, one he would have pushed away, had he been able to move. From what he could see through blurry eyes, a hand grabbed the paper he was holding and took it. The hand returned and started tapping the table in slow beats. 

Keith focused on the gentle tapping of the finger to the table. One… two… three… four. One… two… three, four. One, two, three four. One, two, three, four. Pause. One, two, three, four.

As he focused on the beat of the finger tapping, the seconds between the pause, before it started up again, his vision became more focused. He could see the unkept, chewed nails. Pidge. She must have been staying something too. Behind the pounding in his ears, Keith focused on what was behind it. 

“My name is Pidge, I’m your best friend. You live in a house with me, Shiro, and Adam. We live just outside the city. The deck outside is breaking down. When you walk in the door, the landing is too small. The kitchen is through the door way, there’s a kitchen table, and ugly grandma curtains in the window. Pass the table is the living room. Take a left, there’s a hallway. Down the too skinny hall way there are two rooms, a bad design choice, take a right into the room with the stars on the wall. Close the door behind you, it locks if you want it too. Each wall is a season. Spring, summer, winter, fall.”

Keith could hear he more clearly now. He closed his eyes and began. “I’m at the table, in the kitchen. Inside my house. Near the city. I’m in the kitchen, sitting with Katie, who goes by Pidge, in the house that I live in with my brother, Shiro, Shiro’s boyfriend Adam, and Pidge. I am at the table, in the kitchen of my, Shiro, Adam, and Pidge’s house, just outside of the city.” Keith gulped and breathed. He had started breathing in time with Pidge’s tapping. He breathed deeply, and opened his eyes to look at Pidge, whose eyebrows were scrunched together. He gave her a small nod, and he heard the tapping stop.

“I’m okay. Sorry about that.” Keith muttered, sounding as broken as he felt.

“No. Don’t be sorry about it. This is not your fault and you’re going to be okay.” Pidge assured him, hands open on her lap as an invitation. 

Keith was still trying to get a solid breath under him when the house door opened, spooking him. He whipped around, eyes wide. He stared for a second before registering Shiro and Adam, who seemed to be having a nice conversation. 

Shiro raised an eyebrow before taking in the mess around him. Shiro dropped his bag of groceries and skidded over to Keith.

“What happened? Are you okay? Are you hurt? Either of you? Did someone say something? Was there an accident?” Shiro rattled off an unending stream of questions. Keith slowly uncurled and curled his hingers. He slowly moved his hand up and found the sealed envelope with an official government stamp on the front. He handed it to Shiro and took a deep breath. Keith watched as Shiro read. Adam appeared at his side a second after he opened it, and then moved him to a vacant chair as he started to sway on his feet. Keith watched helplessly as Shiro broke down just the same as he did. Keith felt something hot on his face, tears. 

It was silent in the house for most of the night. Supper being a solemn affair. Leftovers instead of the meal Shiro had originally wanted to cook. The only sound was the clinking of forks on plates as they ate. Keith didn’t eat much. Even if he was hungry, which he wasn’t, he couldn’t imagine he could have gotten it down anyway. After supper, dishes weren’t done, no one feeling up to it, and just before they all went their separate ways, Pidge reminded them that Lance and Hunk were coming over to work on the project. She had offered to cancel, but everyone agreed that it might not be a bad thing for her to get her mind off everything that was happening. 

Just under an hour after they had cleaned up the kitchen, with much less energy than usual, there was a knock on the door. Pidge got up and gave everyone a smile, signalling that they had had enough misery for tonight. She pulled open the door and a very energetic Lance ran in. 

“Pidge!” It was an elated yell, one which was completely unnecessary, but that was Lance. Keith felt a smile pull at his lips. At least something was normal.

Hunk followed in, with less vigor and excitement than Lance. More reserved, as usual, which also comforted Keith. He gave a hug to Pidge on his way in and a small wave to Keith, Adam, and Shiro on his way down to the basement. 

Lance saw Keith and shot him a beaming smile. “Keith! Hey!” 

Keith smiled, got up from his chair, and gestured to Lance. “I’m going to watch a movie, you coming?” He didn’t wait for an answer, figuring that Lance would either follow or go downstairs. As Keith sat down and opened Netflix. “I don’t know what you usually watch, but I’m thinking something light hearted.”

Lance stayed quiet for a minute, before suggesting, “a teen romantic comedy?” He sounded hesitant, which for the very short time Keith had known Lance, was not a word he would usually use.

Keith looked over, a smirk on his face, “Ya, that sounds good.”

Nearly ten minutes later, they finally agreed on a movie to watch. Keith got up to grab some snacks – no movie night is complete without snacks -and found Shiro in the kitchen.

“So,” Shiro prompted. Keith elected to ignore him, with the knowledge that he was going to say something so matter what. “a Rom Com.” Keith just shook his head and stayed silent. When it became apparent that he wasn’t about to respond, Shiro continued. “You like him, don’t you?”

That got Keith to whip around and gape at Shiro. He turned to look towards the living room where Lance was, but found him playing on his phone, not having heard. “Shiro!” Keith whispered, “He could have heard you!”

Shiro smirked, “Keith and Lance, sitting in a tree-” Keith slapped a hand over his brother’s mouth and glared. Shiro put his hands up in defeat, and Keith slowly, cautsiously removed his hand. Shiro was smiling like an idiot, he looked at Lance and back at Keith whowas avoiding eye contact. “You two crazy kids have fun!” he said loud enough for Lance to hear.

Keith watched as Lance looked up and watched as Shiro left down the hall. He looked at Keith who just shrugged and brought over the snacks. “Sorry, its been a weird day.”

“I’m guessing he doesn’t hate me anymore?” Lance said, sticking his hand inside the bag of chips.

“You could say that? He doesn’t usually hold grudges so you’re probably in the clear.” Keith said, setting up a tiny snack buffet on the coffee table.

It was about half way through the movie that Keith realized he had no idea what was going on. Lance had picked it, since Keith had no real experience with rom com movies, so he should have been paying attention. However, at about the phase of the misunderstanding in the usual melodrama genre, Keith realized he had only the knowledge Lance told him at the beginning, which honestly wasn’t much. He realized he knew more about the way Lance smiled, and laughed, and got excited. Keith suddenly knew more about Lance’s behaviour than he did about the movie.

Keith realized this, because suddenly Lance was looking back at him. Keith hadn’t realized how close they were sitting until that moment. Maybe they had started there, maybe they had just drifted together, Keith didn’t know. What he did know, however, was that he and Lance were practically cuddling. Not that Keith would have minded if they were. Suddenly, Keith could feel every part of him that was touching Lance. The warmth of their knees touching, how close their hands were to each other, the way their arms rested tightly together. It was perception heightened, though unlike an anxiety attack which is fast and cold, this felt warm and slow. A pleasant feeling, a warm fluttering in his stomach as he looked at Lance’s eyes, which by no means should have been that blue. 

A slow breath in, a slow breath out. Keith watched the rise and fall of Lance’s chest, quicker than his own, and just watched Lance watch him. Keith swallowed and closed his eyes for a short moment. In that moment, Keith moved forward, put one hand on Lance’s cheek, and kissed Lance.   
There was a long moment, or maybe it was a short moment that felt like forever, but he drew away from Lance and breathed heavier than before, the warm sensation sitting heavy on his chest.

Quietly, “Please, tell me I didn’t read that wrong.”

Lance sat silently for a second longer, before moving the chips that rested between them. “No, you didn’t,” Lance replied. He put a hand on Keith’s cheek. It was a soft, light touch that Keith leaned into. Lance pulled him close, his other hand on Keith’s waist, and kissed him, softly at first. Hesitant, like he had been earlier, but when Keith responded, Lance pushed harder. Kissing Lance felt right, all the stress of the day seemed to fall away as Lance pulled him closer. Keith felt his shirt move, grazing his stomach as Lance moved his hand underneath the soft fabric. Lance moved his hand from Keith’s cheek down to his thigh. Lance pushed forward, pulling Keith’s legs further, laying him down. Lance removed his lips from Keith’s, causing a little whine to escape. Lance put a hand on Keith’s chest trapping him, and nipped at Keith’s neck.

Suddenly, Keith’s heart felt heavier, colder. The warm beating Lance had created turned rapid and sharp. His breathing followed suit, and then his vision began to swim. A panic attack. Keith pushed against Lance’s chest, and thankfully, Lance moved away, allowing Keith to move. Off the couch. Not trapped. Keith stood up before immediately losing his balance and falling to his knees. Lance was there to catch him, but his touch felt like it burned Keith’s skin. Keith shoved at Lance, pushing himself until his back hit something solid. 

“Keith, you’re at home. You’re safe. We are here for you. Can you hear me, Keith?” That was Pidge. Why was she here? She was supposed to be downstairs with Hunk, Nevertheless, he nodded.

“Good, good. Can you tell me? Who is all in the house right now?” She tone was soft and slow.

Keith took a moment, trying to think through the haze that invaded his mind. “Uh… you, Pidge.” He corrected, “Lance, Hunk,”

“You’re doing good, keep going.”

A second passed as Keith tried to think. “Shiro? Adam. That’s it, that’s everyone.” He looked at Pidge, who smiled at him.

“See, you’re fine! Though, maybe we should call it a night, it’s getting a little late.” She smiled and helped Keith stand up. She ran downstairs, presumably to get Hunk, leaving Keith standing awkwardly alone with Lance in the living room. 

Keith looked at Lance, breathing heavily, “I’m sorry,” his voice was raspy and his throat felt like someone had taken a grater to it.

“Hey, it’s okay man! I’m sorry, I should have asked, made sure you were okay. I shouldn’t have assumed anything. You know what they say about assuming!” Lance was rambling, and despite what just happened, Keith had to smile.

“Lance,” Keith started, but Lance just kept talking. “Lance! You’re fine! It was me, don’t worry about it.” Keith paused a minute and took a step closer to Lance. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” He said quietly. He tentatively leaned over and gave Lance a light peck on the cheek. 

Lance nodded quickly. He looked as if he wanted to say something but didn’t know what to say.

“Okay, we’ll see you guys later.” Pidge said loudly, crossing into the kitchen, giving Keith a knowing look. 

Lance followed Pidge into the kitchen, giving Keith a little wave before disappearing around the corner into their tiny mud room. The walls closed it off from the view of the rest of the house. Keith would have to take those walls down soon.

When Pidge reappeared, she wiggled her eyebrows at Keith. 

“Shut up!”

“I didn’t say anything!” Pidge held her hands up in surrender.

“But you were going to!”

“I mean, were you not just chastising Shiro about the exact same thing?”

“We didn’t do anything!” Keith’s voice went up an octave.

“All I’m saying is that I get the recliner from now on!” Pidge yelled as she ran down the stairs to her bedroom.

Keith shook his head and rolled his eyes as he wandered around, picking up garbage, making sure the doors were locked, and shutting off the lights. As he made his way down the hall he saw Shiro stick his head out of his door. 

“So. You and Lance.” He grinned madly.

Keith groaned, walking into his room, and locking to door. Behind his door, he let himself smile. Despite two panic attacks which had worn him out, he felt content. He would sleep well tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe there will come a day that I don't post at 2 am  
> Today is not that day  
> Sorry this is a billion months later my dudes, school was ridiculous this semester. I will have a shorter chapter up after this one for you soon as an apology!  
> Thank you for reading!


	5. A Coin has Two Sides

Lance sent Keith one last text before he entered the court house.

_Hey, if you text back within the next few hours, I wont. I’ve got somewhere I have to be_

If Keith was even reading the messages, which Lance couldn’t be sure he was, that one would raise questions. Questions that Lance couldn’t, _wouldn’t_ , answer.

Lance looked at his sisters and his mother. He could imagine that he probably looked as solemn as they did. He hadn’t seen his dad in years, and that was fine by him. Lance didn’t care that he didn’t see his dad, he was glad of it even.

He followed his mother blindly, she had talked to the people she needed to talk to, though Lance had no idea what was said, and they were on their way to their court room. As they sat down Lance closed his eyes and took a breath in an attempt to relax. It didn’t help. Court was to start in a minute or two, and even that was too long. He was going to be there for at least the next few hours and even that was more time than he wanted to spend in the same room as his father.

Lance opened his eyes and looked around the court room. Nothing he hadn’t seen before. He hadn’t been back in over a decade, but nothing looked different. He took in the room around him, the scuffs on the pews, and the ugly fake marble floors that reminded him of church, the other half of the court room, which seemed untouchable. The tiny fence between him and where the defense and opposition would sit, followed by the raised dais, where the judge would sit. The events that took place here had wreaked havoc on his life, and yet it seemed so… quiet.

The doors behind Lance opened. A bit of him wanted to whip his head around and see who it was but he restrained himself. Gently moving his head to look at the aisle, where what looked like the prosecution was heading to their designated spots. It was an old lawyer, followed by two young people. Lance froze.

Keith was looking him dead in the eyes.

Keith’s eyes were filled with fear. He was scared. Lance watched as Keith ducked his head toward Shiro, and a moment later, Shiro looked at him. They made their way in front of Lance and his family and took a seat at the prosecutor’s bench.

Lance’s heart fell into his stomach and he was ready to throw up what little he had eaten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised! A few days later! Would have had it up sooner, but i was ay comic con all weekend so that took up all of my time!


End file.
